3 Best Practices for Successful Networking
A typical networking scenario...
Me: “Hi there, I'm blah blah blah. I want to be a CEO and take over the world. What would you recommend is the best way to get there?”
Professional: “You have to network, work hard, ask for coffee, sell your soul, blah blah blah”
Me: “Okay thx so helpful Goddamnit I hate networking”
*walks home*
*rubs magic lamp*
Me: “Hey Genie, I hate networking, and I want to be better at it”
*Genie pulls out iPhone and pulls out this blog*
So you want to be better at networking.
Does this sound like you?
You get sweaty palms.
You’re convinced your social anxiety is holding you back.
You’ve worked a full day, you’re exhausted, but you promised your friend you’d go.
You hate small talk.
Or you actually hate humans and wish you were a snail instead.
Whatever your reason for hating networking, it’s all valid. Networking is overwhelming. You have to introduce yourself to a stranger (who is judging you) and hope they like you.
Networking is really hard at first. But like any skill, if you practice, it gets easier, and dare I say, really fun!
It might be helpful for me to define my idea of networking…
Networking:
v. meeting a stranger in a business setting and trying to see if you have similar interests that can be the foundation for a great conversation.
Great networking is built on connection
Back in university, it was all quantity, quantity, quantity. I didn’t care about quality. But I was exhausted from typing 40+ follow-up emails and no solid reason for why they should meet me again.
It was also exhausting to put that kind of pressure on myself to meet as many people as possible. So I had to switch up my strategy. I had to focus on quality over quantity. And it’s changed my networking game forever.
So 5 years later, after much trial and error. Here are the 3 tips I follow no matter whom I meet, to have successful conversations and connections:
Know your story.
When I meet new people at a networking event, I always introduce myself using this format. This way the person I’m meeting has a solid understanding of me, within 10 seconds:
Hi, I’m [NAME] by day I am [DAY JOB] and by night I do [SIDE HUSTLE 1, 2, 3,]*
So it sounds like this:
Me: Hi, I’m Liya, by day I work for the federal government and at night I organize a monthly entrepreneurship panel called LocalTalks.
*You don’t have to have a side hustle, but you do need to put something after your name and job title. You want to give the other person something to chew on, so they can continue the conversation.
Let’s say I wanted to become a UX Designer and I’m at a UX networking event full of designers, I would not mention LocalTalks; instead, I’d say:
Me: Hi I’m Liya, I work for the federal government but I do design work at my job, and I’m really interested in becoming a UX designer full-time.
Them: Oh very cool, what brought you to this event?
To answer this question, you need to time travel. You need to be able to explain our career in the past, present, and future.
Here’s mine:
Me: Well I started my career in fashion blogging, moved to digital marketing during university because I loved creating content (past), then when I graduated (present), I realized that UX Design was far more interesting to me, and now I’m ready to go all-in (future).
Having a good understanding of yourself always leaves a good impression on anybody. Come prepared for every networking event with your story.
2. Set a simple, achievable goal.
I come from immigrant parents, so I put immense pressure on myself to perform. 1 connection is not enough, I need 30.
This logic is flawed and extremely damaging to my mental health.
I want to leave the event happy. In order for me to feel happy I need to feel accomplished. So here’s my one and only goal: Make one new friend. That’s it. Every time I go to a networking event, I challenge myself to meet one new friend.
See my no pressure no stress approach? I don’t even tell myself to make a business connection -just someone I think would make a great friend. This way, when I strike up a conversation, I can just fully be myself, tell my story, and not give a fuck if they don’t like me. I’m just trying to be your friend. If you don’t wanna be my friend, fine, I’ll go talk to someone else who wants to be my friend.
The first time I set this goal for myself, I was going alone to a huge tech industry event called TechTO. Everybody knew someone, and I knew no one. How scary? So to make sure I had a good time, I told myself,
Liya, going to this event alone is scary as fuck. So I don’t want to be too hard on you. All I want you to do tonight is to do your best and to make one new friend. That’s it. Once you’ve made one friend, you can go home”
I set this goal for myself, and that friend I made, is still one of my good friends today. We brunch, we talk about cannabis, being an immigrant and etc. it’s dope. We don’t even talk about “professional things” we talk about things that make us human, and sometimes we have valuable career conversations and get each other business opportunities.
3. Be a Good Listener and let your body language show it
I will make a separate post about body language. Because it’s a powerful, powerful thing. But I’ll start you off with an appetizer:
Studies show communication is 40% body language and 30% tone of voice. Only 20% of it is the actual words you say.
That means 70% of your message, is actually communicated via your body and your tone of voice.
So when you’re talking to someone, it’s extremely important to:
A. Look them in the eye, do not let your eyes wander or have your hands in your pocket. You want to be confident.
B. Keep your voice in an even tone = Confidence.
C. CHEST OUT. CHIN UP. AND SMILE ON. This shows confidence even if you’re not.
My mom used to catch me lying all the time because of my body language… until I figured it out. But then she still caught me.
Goddamn moms.
How body language let me know how someone really felt about me…
One time, I went to a conference for Asian-American women called The Cosmos (shout out to Cass & Karen!). The event was meant for bonding. So, I needed to make a new friend.
I thought I was getting along with this girl who was sitting beside me because her words were so kind and encouraging.
However, her body language was saying something else. Her chest was not facing me, both her feet were planted in the opposite direction, and when she smiled, the smile didn’t reach her eyes. So as a test I turned around and chatted with the girl beside me, within seconds, she got up and left.
I hold nothing against her, but it did sting at the moment to know she was not interested. I’m forever grateful though, because that memory taught me a very important lesson, always look at their body language.
In conclusion
So there you have it :) My top three tips that have changed my networking game forever!
Whether you’re trying to get a new job, trying to meet new people, or just trying to get through the day surrounded by strangers. Try these 3 tips out.
And just have fun with it. You’re one step closer to achieving your dreams.
Talk soon.
Liya